Embracing Those Nerves

Find systems and solutions that work for you: What makes you feel better before you are about to present?

(or: What I do when I feel like my nerves are going to take over this moment)

When we are in any evaluative situation, one of the aspects that we can find challenging is knowing how to embrace our nerves.

Be it an interview, a presentation, a speech, a performance, people are looking at us, evaluating us, and we know we are being judged.

Not to mention, a lot of the time, if we could see into other people’s thoughts, some of the statements coming our way would be things like:

“I love her shoes”“Wonder what I’m going to have for dinner tonight”“I would hate to be up there right now”“I hope this won’t be too long”“I can’t forget to call the ___ about ___”

We know in ourselves what our mind tells us when we are the audience in a similar situation, so it’s no surprise that it also makes us nervous when we are the speaker.

BUT…

Let’s think about these nerves for a moment.

When an Olympic athlete is getting ready for a gold medal race - are they nervous? Yes.

When a CEO is going into a meeting with a large client - are they nervous? YES.

When a new student leader is about to address the whole school on the first day - are they nervous? YES.

When a Prime Minister is making their first address to their country - are they nervous? YES.

Nerves are normal, and they remind us that we want to do a good job. It takes time, trial and reflection to find what strategies work best for you, but over time, you will build up your toolbox with several exercises you can employ to embrace those nerves and allow them to fuel you rather than overcome you.

Below, I have listed my top 5 strategies. These are the tools I use most weeks before facing the next evaluative situation.

1. Change the narrative!

Before you speak, your inner voice can get very loud:

“What if I mess up?”“I’m not a confident speaker.”“They’ll see how nervous I am.”

But what if you told yourself something else?

“I’m excited to share this story.”“I love this topic.”“This message matters.”“I’ve got something worth saying.”

Shifting your mindset is one of the most powerful ways to embrace your nerves and turn your next presentation into a positive experience.

You’re not ignoring the nerves—you’re just choosing to focus on what you’re looking forward to. You’re giving your time, energy, and attention to those thoughts instead.

2. Pocket Trick

Have something in your pocket that means something to you.

This could be:

• A shell you picked up from the beach

• A painted rock you made with your children

• A necklace you treasure

• A printed copy of your speech folded up

• A post-it note with “YOU’VE GOT THIS” in capital letters

Whatever it is, this small item sits in your pocket. You can feel its weight, and if you put your hand in your pocket, you can literally feel it.

This small item reminds you that the moment you are currently in is minor. When you look at the life you have lived/are living, this moment, it is a mere blip on your radar.

It also reminds you that even if someone in the audience seems not to like you, there are others in your life who believe that the world revolves around you. They need you and they love you, no matter how your speech/presentation/interview goes.

3. Deep Breathing

There are a lot of methods available for deep breathing and using breath to calm us down.Sometimes, though, when I am nervous, I am too much in my head. I struggle to really find my breath, especially deep breaths low past my belly.

Lately, I have been pairing this with visualisation to try to engage the breath, calm my mind, and allow breathing to support my voice.

Hot Chocolate Breath:

To make yours:

1. Cup your hands in front of you as though you are holding a steaming hot mug of the most amazing hot chocolate.

2. Visualise you (or someone else) making this hot chocolate to your exact standards.

My recipe: Steaming hot Belgian dark chocolate melted into a thick syrup with cream. Add homemade marshmallow (extra thick), vanilla flavour. Add a chocolate fish (raspberry - why not?).No thanks to the whipped cream on top, I want more of the chocolate mixture.

3. Move your cupped hands towards your nose. As you inhale through your nose, smell this hot chocolate. Try to hold the inhale as long as you can.

4. As you exhale, push your lips forward in a small “O” shape and breathe out on the hot chocolate as though you were trying to cool it down.

5. (Added extra: bring your clasped thumbs up to your mouth and pretend to take a drink.)

6. Repeat the inhale and exhale.

As you start to relax, you should be able to extend the inhale and exhale, getting further into your deep breathing.

For me, it is in this exercise that I also get all the benefits of visualisation and the senses. Chocolate for me is a treat - I love it - and therefore I always feel good when I can eat/drink some.This helps me to add feelings of warmth, calm and joy to my body, and replace those feelings of worry, anxiety, or nerves that I may have had prior.

4. Releasing Tension

Imagine:

• You are pushing a car up a hill

• Pushing against a door that won’t budge

• Lifting yourself off a chair by mere centimetres

• Pushing your feet as hard as you can into the floor (without anyone noticing)

Put all your tension into this moment—and then release.

In an ideal world, we would blast some music, have a really good 1-minute dance party OR run around outside and shake all of our limbs, running/dancing/shaking out our tension.

But for most people, the scenarios that they are in before they head on stage to speak do not allow them this moment of release. (I would so love it if they did - should we start something…?)

Taking a moment to shake out your tension, your nervous energy, helps you to enter the space with feelings of calm, the worst of the nerves you have danced/shaken away.

Give yourself a time limit. End with a deep breath. Smile at yourself.

5. Tongue Twisters

Saying something silly and laughing about it helps to break the ice before you step in front of an audience.

It also helps to:

• Warm up your voice

• Move the muscles that support your voice

• Allow you to hear your own voice moments before you present

Stepping outside or sitting in the car and challenging yourself to a few of these before you get up on stage can help.

Some of my personal favourites:

• Mah, moo, mah, moo

• Flash Message

• Red Lorry Yellow Lorry

• I like New York, unique New York, I like unique New York

• He threw three free throws

  
  

Want more…?

Alongside my top 5, there are a number of other tactics you can try. The keyword in that is: ‘try’.

Test them out, see what works best for you. Mix it up, try it again another time.

You won’t be able to get rid of your nerves. What you are trying to do is to work with them, embrace them, and find strategies to keep them under your control. That way, when you have ended, you’ll get that amazing rush of endorphins as you look out at your audience knowing:

You just did that presentation, and you owned it.

You’ve got this.

Don’t stop talking.