All the Things I Wish I Said (and Didn’t)

Ever walked away from a presentation replaying all the things you should have said? Same. Here’s what I learned when the ‘perfect line’ showed up in the car park.

Last week I had the incredible opportunity to be a guest on a podcast.

The best part? I got to combine my passion with my profession - talking about the importance of public speaking and communication in education.

The conversation itself was short, about 30 minutes all up. That’s not long when you’re trying to sum up a career, a philosophy, and a mission. I had spent weeks preparing — writing draft responses to questions, talking to myself in the shower, scribbling notes in different colours, gathering data and resources.

But here’s what I didn’t do: I never asked how long the conversation was going to be. And I should have.

Because when you’re in a timed situation, you don’t get the luxury of the full story. You have to pick your moments, land them well, and hope that at the end you’ve married your intentions with the goals of the host.

The Walk Back to the Car

At the end of the recording, I felt good. I had answered what was asked, elaborated where I could. However, on the walk back to the car, the voice of regret chimed in:

• “Oh, I forgot to say…”

• “I should have mentioned…”

• “Did I bring up…?”

That voice? Not helpful.

In live conversation, we don’t get to rewind. We can’t go back to “fix” or “add.” And while that can be frustrating, it’s also the beauty of speaking off the cuff. The audience receives your message in the moment — not the perfect version you rework in your head afterwards.

What I Wish I Said (and Didn’t)

If I could go back, here are five things I would have loved to have talked about.

On Location

For anyone wanting to improve their confidence in public speaking, scouting the location beforehand is one of the most helpful and important steps you can take. If you’re teaching, this is also one of the best processes to go through with your students. Take time to stand in the space. Figure out your walk-up—how will you get to the stage, mic, or front? Once there, where will you stand? Is there a lectern? How far forward or back should you go? How close will you be to the front row?

Then, look out. Picture your audience. How many people are you expecting? Finally, plan your exit—what is your strategy for leaving the space? Will you navigate between rows, walk down the middle, or choose another path?

Breath Is Everything

We need breath to speak; learning how to look after it and use it effectively is one of the most valuable tools in public speaking. Deep breathing also calms the nervous system, a bonus when nerves hit. As teachers, it’s important to spend time teaching breathing techniques and breath work to students. Understanding breath and voice production also provides evidence to support your instruction.

Remember Your Audience

In a podcast, it can be tempting to dive into your whole life story. But with limited time and an audience who may not need every detail, it’s important to be selective. Think about your listeners first—why are they tuning in? What do they want to learn or take away?

Work backwards from that. Identify the key points you want them to remember, and shape your story around those. This keeps your content focused, relevant, and respectful of their time. When you align your message with your audience’s needs, your impact is much stronger.

Keep It Real

You can’t go back and re-record when you’re live—and nor should you want to. Alongside storytelling, the best way to connect with your audience is to speak in an extempore, “off the cuff” style. No matter how much you prepare, every delivery will be slightly different. This keeps it alive and real, both for you and your listeners, and adds to your credibility.

Dwelling on things you wish you’d said isn’t helpful. In an interview, you won’t control the whole conversation, setting, or outcome—so focus on what you did contribute rather than what you didn’t. At worst, you can always follow up with an email sharing a few extra thoughts.

Find What Works for You

Don’t be afraid of using visual cues—or even sitting down. You do you. For those worried about presenting in public, remember there are many ways to feel more comfortable than just standing at the front.

For some, sitting and treating it like a conversation works better than a formal presentation. For others, visual cues such as props, slides, or cue cards help keep them on track. Whatever helps you feel connected and present in the moment is valid. Try different styles and see what fits you best.

A Week Later…

Now, a week on, my memory still plays tricks on me. One minute I’m sure I covered everything, the next I wonder if I said something out of context. Suddenly, I’m back to feeling unsure.

Here’s what helped me:

• I wrote a quick follow-up email sharing a few key points I wished I’d mentioned — that way, they could be included in the show notes or blurb.

• I wrote down the things I do remember saying, so I had a record beyond my shifting memory.

• I reminded myself that someone, somewhere, will have taken something from the episode — even if it wasn’t the perfect version in my head.

• And most importantly, I felt grateful for the opportunity. Not everyone gets a platform like this, and I don’t take it lightly.

  
  

The Takeaway (Without the Regret)

When you walk away from a presentation, podcast, or conversation thinking of all the things you wish you’d said - you’re not alone. It’s part of the process.

Here’s the real takeaway:

Anchor yourself in what you did say, not what you didn’t.

Capture the wins. Send a follow-up email if you must. Then let it go.

Because the “perfect line” always arrives in the car park (or shower), but your audience needed the version that was live, real, and right there in the moment.